I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve told myself I’d start something “when things calm down.” Things rarely calm down. They just shift. And sometimes, I wasn’t waiting for calm. I was waiting to feel ready, confident or safe.
If you’ve ever done the same, you’re not alone.
One thing I’ve learned in leadership and in life is this. The excuse itself isn’t always the issue. The heaviness comes from pretending it’s something it isn’t.
The quiet difference between a reason and a disguise
Not wanting to do something is a real reason. It deserves honesty.
The problem comes when we are scared to say the real reason out loud, so we give it a more acceptable name.
“I’m too busy” often means “this is not important enough to move up the list.”
“I’m not ready” can mean “I’m scared to fail in front of others.”
“Maybe next quarter” is sometimes “I already know this is not for me.”
The excuse is not the feeling. It is the costume we put on the feeling.
Why excuses feel safer
Excuses protect us. They soften a no. They keep people from judging us. They shield us from discomfort, conflict or exposure. In their own way, they take care of something inside us that is still tender.
So no, excuses are not all bad. They are just expensive when we hold onto them longer than we need to.
Because the longer we maintain them, the more mental energy we spend remembering the script, defending it and proving it is true. That is energy we could be using in places that matter more.
When excuses turn into identity
This is where things get tricky.
“I can’t afford it” slowly becomes “I’m someone who never has enough.”
“I’m not ready yet” shifts into “I’m someone who is never fully prepared.”
“I’m not good at that” transforms into “I am limited in a permanent way.”
There is a loving difference between “I am choosing not to spend here in this season” and “I never have enough for anything.” One is a moment in time. The other becomes a belief that shapes everything moving forward.
The leadership shift is not about toughness
The strongest leaders I know are not excuse-free. They are simply honest.
They say things like:
“That is not my focus right now.”
“I could, but I am choosing not to.”
“I am not the best person for this.”
Same boundary. Cleaner energy. No extra story.
I say this often to my team. “You do not have to do everything. You just have to own what you choose.”
A gentle excuse audit
Try this in a soft way. When you catch yourself saying “I can’t,” “I’m too busy,” or “maybe later,” pause for one breath.
Then ask:
- What am I protecting?
- What am I afraid might happen?
- What is the real sentence hiding underneath this one?
Sometimes the truth is “I am genuinely at capacity.” Beautiful. Clarity is relief.
Other times the truth is “I am afraid I won’t be good at this,” or “I do not want this the way I thought I did,” or “I want to protect my peace and that is okay.”
When we speak honestly to ourselves, we reclaim energy we did not realize we were losing.
Excuses are not the enemy. Disconnection is.
The most freeing shift is realizing you do not have to pretend anymore.
You can choose differently without guilt.
You can say no without dressing it up.
You can honor your pace and still be powerful.
We all have fears, constraints and seasons where we feel unsure. That makes us human, not weak.
The question is not whether the constraint exists. It is whether we allow it to define our identity or simply inform our decisions for now.
So if you are honest with yourself, what is one area you are ready to stop hiding behind and start owning with more truth and care?
Ready to build from truth instead of obligation?
At StringCan, we build strategies rooted in clarity, alignment and honest goals. No fluff. No forced direction. Just focus on momentum built on what truly matters to you and your business.
If that feels like the kind of partnership you want, let’s talk.
