Back in 2003, when I became a military spouse, I thought I was ready. I had read all the books, attended the seminars, and listened to the advice. Flexibility? Got it. Frequent moves? Expected. Long deployments? I thought I was mentally prepared.
But reality doesn’t read from a manual. Packing up my life on short notice, moving to places I never would’ve chosen, and navigating months of silence during deployment, it was a crash course in resilience. I wasn’t just learning anymore, I was living it. And living it was harder, messier, and far more transformational than anything I’d studied.
The Illusion of Being Ready
I’ve always been the kind of person who loves learning. I soak up knowledge like some people collect souvenirs. Leadership, resilience, and a growth mindset. You name it, I’ve studied it.
But here’s the truth I had to face: leadership in theory is clean, leadership in reality is jagged. Reading about accountability frameworks is one thing. Making tough calls in a room where no one agrees with you is something else entirely.
Lessons in Partnership
When I became single, I approached relationships the same way I approached leadership, by consuming every resource I could get my hands on. Books, podcasts, articles… all of it. I even practiced how I’d show up in hard conversations.
And yet, when it came time to apply it in real life, the theory evaporated. I still got defensive. I still said the wrong thing. I still had to repair trust. The learning gave me a map, but the doing is what actually taught me how to navigate.
The COO Lesson I Didn’t See Coming
Fast forward nearly a decade at StringCan. When I stepped into the COO role, I assumed my biggest challenge would be building systems and scaling strategy. Wrong.
The hardest part? Emotional regulation. Staying steady when a meeting gets heated. Making the call when no one agrees with you. Controlling not just your words but your tone, your body language, your presence.
“You can read about composure all day long, but until you practice it under pressure, it doesn’t stick,” I often remind myself.
Even Traffic Became My Training Ground
For me, traffic was always the place where my patience went to die. So, I decided to train myself differently. I started intentionally driving behind the slowest car. Sounds crazy, right? But every time I stayed there, I was practicing composure, restraint, and the art of choosing my reaction.
If you can regulate yourself in the small irritations, you’re better equipped for the big ones.
Why Doing Matters More Than Knowing
Here’s the trap many of us fall into: confusing learning with growth. Learning is safe. You can stop, start, and control it. But doing is public, messy, and forces you to face whether you’re actually growing.
And the truth? Failure isn’t proof you’re bad at something,it’s proof you’re trying something new. Every failed attempt is a step
ping stone toward mastery.
From Knowledge to Instinct
Growth happens when knowledge turns into instinct. When it’s not just what you’ve memorized, but how you show up under pressure.
Learning sparks the match. Doing builds the fire. Growth is keeping it burning, no matter the conditions.
At StringCan, that’s how we approach growth with our clients, too. We don’t just hand over playbooks; we roll up our sleeves and help you apply them in real-world situations. Because growth doesn’t come from theory. It comes from practice.
Ready to turn learning into real results? Let’s talk about how StringCan can help.
