You can be an incredible leader, reliable and steady, the one people trust, and still carry the nagging thought: Am I missing the answer that matters most?
That was me not long ago. During three weeks in Portugal, between tiled streets and riverfront glasses of wine, I realized my stress wasn’t really about “purpose.” It was about how I was measuring myself.
We are taught that purpose is a singular truth we are supposed to find and then live out flawlessly. For a select few, it looks obvious, like the doctor who knew at eight years old or the artist who never doubted their path. But for most of us, the chase becomes pressure instead of clarity.
Purpose turns into a test we think we are failing.
When Everything Feels Heavy
Here’s what hit me in Portugal: my stress wasn’t just about purpose. It was about treating every single task and decision as equally urgent and equally tied to my worth.
I’ve carried nightmare software transitions, perfectionist standards, and an endless pressure to prove capacity, as if handling more somehow proved my value. My brain didn’t know how to let anything drop.
It’s like carrying an armful of plates you know will crash, or Kevin from The Office wobbling through the hallway with that pot of chili. At some point, something has to spill.
And the truth?
- No one will applaud how perfectly I organized projects.
- No one will remember how much I carried while pretending it was easy.
- No one will write in my obituary that I was an exceptional plate spinner.
So why grip everything so tightly?
Rethinking Purpose
After years of asking, What’s my purpose? I’ve started to believe I was asking the wrong question.
Maybe purpose isn’t a hidden treasure we are supposed to dig up. Maybe it isn’t tied to a title, a legacy, or the approval of others.
Maybe the purpose is simply being on purpose. Choosing what matters, and letting the rest fall away.
Why Leaders Need This Shift
This matters for leaders, especially women. We are conditioned to carry more, prove capacity, and make it look effortless. But carrying everything equally doesn’t prove worth. It clouds clarity.
And when clarity erodes, so does leadership. Stress drains perspective, creativity, and the steadiness our teams rely on.
How to Put Some of It Down
If you feel like you are failing the purpose test, here’s what I’m practicing:
- Discern the weight. Not everything is urgent. Stop treating it like it is.
- Catch the loop. Notice when your brain keeps circling. Name it. It’s just a thought.
- Be present. Hard? Yes. Worth it? Absolutely. Long exhales help.
- Choose rest. Clear decisions come from a clear mind. Inbox zero is not worth more than a walk that resets your brain.
The Real Courage
Leadership isn’t about carrying everything. It’s about deciding what is worth carrying at all.
The smiles in my Portugal photos mattered. The stressful moments? Thankfully, my brain will blur them with time.
Sometimes the most courageous move isn’t proving you can hold it all.
It’s putting something down.
If you’re ready to align your leadership team and your company's purpose, StringCan can help.
