While traveling earlier this year, I noticed something that made me smile. People often said, “Americans believe anything is possible.” It’s true. We’re dreamers. But that belief can also trick us into thinking everything is important.
We scroll through wins, build never-ending to-do lists, and convince ourselves that more time would fix everything. The truth? More time wouldn’t save us. Better choices would.
Oliver Burkeman said it best in Four Thousand Weeks: life is short, so we have to choose what truly matters. It’s not about hustling harder. It’s about focusing smarter.
The Jar That Doesn’t Tell the Whole Story
You’ve probably seen that “rocks, pebbles, sand” demo. The big rocks go in first, then the smaller stuff fits around them. It’s a nice metaphor, but here’s the problem. The professor only brought as many big rocks as could fit in the jar.
Real life doesn’t work that way. There are always more big rocks than room to hold them. The challenge isn’t fitting them all in. It’s deciding which ones stay and which ones you let go.
That part hurts. Saying no to things you want is never easy. But it’s also the only way to protect what matters most.
As I often tell my team, “Saying no isn’t selfish. It’s leadership. It’s how you make space for what actually moves the needle.”
Buffett’s 5/25 Rule in Real Life
If you’ve heard of Warren Buffett’s 5/25 rule, it’s a solid filter. List 25 goals, circle the top five that truly change your life, and then make the other twenty your “avoid at all costs” list.
It sounds simple, but it’s not easy. The goal isn’t to create a perfect list. It’s to develop the discipline of choosing.
Here’s how to try it:
- Write down 25 things you want to accomplish.
- Circle the five that would make the biggest impact.
- Protect those five like a project deadline.
Delegate, defer, or delete the rest. Ruthless? Maybe. But also freeing.
Self-Care Isn’t Avoidance
Here’s where a lot of leaders get tripped up. We disguise avoidance as self-care. “I need a break” can turn into “I’m avoiding the hard stuff.” Real self-care isn’t an escape hatch. It’s a recharge strategy.
If you’re wired like me, you love to check boxes and be useful. That drive is great, but it burns hot. So plan your rest the same way you plan your week. A scheduled pause isn’t weakness. It’s what lets you go further tomorrow.
The Time Trap We Built
Before the industrial age, people lived by seasons, not seconds. When clocks arrived, we gained coordination and lost peace. Suddenly, time became a scoreboard.
The irony? The very thing that helped us grow also convinced us that “more” is the only metric for success. Clocks gave us control, but they also made us anxious and gave us the feeling of “wasting” time when we weren’t being “productive”.
The Real Work: Choosing What to Neglect
If there will always be more big rocks than your jar can hold, then your job isn’t optimization. It tastes. It’s choosing the few things worth your best energy.
Start here:
- Take an honest inventory, not an aspirational one.
- Name your five or fewer top priorities.
- Create systems that protect those priorities.
- Make rest part of your plan, not a reward.
We all work differently. Some of us get energy from finishing things. Others from shaping the vision. When you know your lane, choosing gets easier and guilt fades away.
The Permission to Disappoint
Here’s the hardest truth: you can’t do everything. Choosing one thing means disappointing others. That sting isn’t failure. It’s proof that you’re prioritizing.
Learn to feel that ache without letting it dictate your decisions. That ache is simply your reminder that you care deeply about your options. I’ve learned to respect it without obeying it.
And since I’m always reading, my next book on this topic is The Courage to Be Disliked by Fumitake Koga. I have a feeling it’ll hit close to home.
When everything feels urgent, pause. Name your five. Block time for them. Build your days around what matters most.
Try This Week
Pick one “big rock” you’ve been pushing off. Schedule 90 minutes this week and protect that time like a client meeting. Notice what tries to steal it. That resistance will tell you what needs to change.
I’d love to hear from you. What’s one big rock you keep promising yourself? And what’s stopping you from protecting it this week? Let’s be brave enough to choose.
If you’re ready to bring focus and strategy back into your business, partner with us at StringCan. We’ll help you protect your priorities, design smarter systems, and build momentum where it matters most.
