I saw a post from Gino Wickman about something he calls the “Truth Sandwich.” You start with affirmation, layer in the hard truth, and close with encouragement.
On paper, it makes sense.
No one wants to be the leader who throws a punch disguised as “radical honesty.” I respect the intention behind the framework. Most leaders genuinely want to handle tough conversations better.
But here’s what I’ve learned over the years.
The bigger problem isn’t leaders being too harsh.
Its leaders are being too scripted.
When You Can Feel the “But” Coming
You’ve been there.
Someone opens with a compliment that feels… strategic. A little too polished. A little too timed.
And before they even say it, your body braces for the “but.”
The compliment doesn’t land. It can’t. It wasn’t offered freely. It was placed there as padding.
And instead of feeling cared for, you feel managed.
That’s the risk of relying too heavily on frameworks. You can execute the steps perfectly and still miss the relationship.
Direct Is a Discipline
At StringCan Interactive, direct conversation isn’t optional. It’s how we function. You don’t build strategy, performance, or partnership without clarity.
I’m a direct communicator. I own that.
But here’s something I had to learn the hard way:
“Direct doesn’t mean dumping your thoughts unfiltered. It means taking responsibility for how they land.”
That’s the work.
Directness isn’t a personality trait you either have or don’t. It’s a skill. And like any skill, it requires awareness.
Some people want you to skip the preamble and just say the thing.
Others need context. They need to understand why something matters before they can hear what needs to change.
Some need space to process. Some need fewer words.
That’s not being soft. That’s being intentional.
The Real Issue Isn’t Delivery
Let’s be honest.
If trust isn’t there, no framework will save you.
You can layer compliments around a tough message all day long. If the person on the other side doesn’t believe you’re in their corner, it will feel manipulative.
But when trust exists, direct feedback doesn’t need wrapping. It lands differently.
It feels like alignment, not attack.
It feels like someone investing in you, not managing you.
Trust does the heavy lifting. Technique just supports it.
What the Best Feedback Feels Like
When I think about the most impactful feedback I’ve ever received, a few things stand out.
It was clear. I didn’t have to decode it.
It was tailored. The person knew me well enough to understand how I’d hear it.
It was rooted in care. Not performative care. Consistent care.
And most importantly, it moved me forward. It gave me something actionable, not something to spiral over.
That’s the difference between feedback that builds and feedback that bruises.
Before Your Next Hard Conversation
Pause and ask yourself:
- Have I built enough trust for this to land?
- Do I know this person well enough to say it in a way they can actually hear?
- Am I being direct to help them grow, or to make myself feel decisive?
Being direct without being destructive isn’t about mastering a script.
It’s about doing the relational work long before the hard conversation ever happens.
If you’re building a team and want clarity and trust to coexist, that’s exactly the kind of culture we help leaders create at StringCan Interactive.
Let’s build it the right way.
If you’re building a team and want clarity and trust to coexist, that’s exactly the kind of culture we help leaders create at StringCan Interactive. Reach out to us to learn more about how our marketing strategies help grow businesses.
