I was sitting in a medical waiting room recently when I noticed my thumb moving toward my phone without any real thought behind it. I had not decided to check anything. My body just assumed that silence needed to be filled.
That moment stuck with me.
It reminded me of when I listened to Eckhart Tolle’s Living a Life of Inner Peace. I listened while folding laundry, speeding it up so I could get through it faster. Even while learning how to slow down, I was rushing.
Later that week, I found myself on the couch early in the morning with a cup of coffee and no noise around me. Within seconds, my mind started shouting reminders. Check email. Review finances. Find something useful to listen to. I remember thinking, when did sitting quietly with coffee start to feel irresponsible?
The Gospel of Optimization
Somewhere along the way, we were taught that every moment needs a purpose. Walks became learning time. Showers became podcast time. Coffee became planning time.
Habit stacking promised efficiency. It told us that if we layered enough improvement on top of daily life, we would finally feel caught up.
But here is what I have learned the hard way. My morning coffee does not need a second job.
The moments we rush to fill are often the moments that matter most. They are the spaces where we feel grounded and human. Yet we have been conditioned to believe that those pauses mean we are falling behind.
The Compulsion to Fill the Gaps
We are uncomfortable with stillness because we have been taught that stillness equals waste. Doing nothing feels wrong, even when our bodies and minds are asking for it.
I catch myself in this all the time. Waiting rooms. Quiet mornings. Short walks. My instinct is always to add something.
As I often tell clients and teammates, “If everything has to be productive to be valuable, we lose the ability to recognize value in being human.”
Just Walking
There is something quietly powerful about going for a walk and only walking. No audio. No multitasking. Just movement and awareness.
It sounds simple, but it is not easy.
Try sitting with your coffee tomorrow and doing nothing else. No phone. No list. No planning. Just coffee and a few minutes of presence.
Your mind will protest. It will offer you important tasks and urgent reminders. That does not mean you are doing it wrong. It means you are noticing the habit.
What If This Moment Is Already Enough?
This question stays with me: what if this moment is already complete?
We spend so much time trying to add value to our days that we forget the day itself has value. Habit stacking tells us we could always be doing more. Being present asks us to notice what is already here.
What if nothing is missing?
Why Habit Stacking Misses the Point
Habit stacking is not useless. It works if your goal is to do more.
The problem is that doing more was never the real issue.
The issue is that we forgot how to exist without proving our worth through output. We turned presence into something that needs justification.
What Gets Lighter When We Stop Stacking
When I stop trying to fill every gap, things feel lighter. Walks feel calmer. Coffee tastes better. Waiting feels less like wasted time and more like time that simply exists.
This is not about giving up goals or ambition. It is about noticing when we have layered so much doing onto being that we can no longer feel the being part.
Staying Here
Tomorrow morning, I plan to sit with my coffee and do nothing else. I will let myself be unproductive. I will trust that email can wait and that the world will keep moving.
The truth is, the podcast will still be there. The work will still be there.
This moment will not.
Maybe the real lesson is not about stacking more onto our lives. Maybe it is about learning how to stay where we already are.
And somehow, that turns out to be harder and more meaningful than anything else we try to optimize.
If this reflection resonates, it is probably showing up in your work, too. At StringCan Interactive, we help leaders and teams cut through noise, simplify decisions, and build marketing that feels aligned instead of forced. If you are ready for a more grounded approach, we would love to partner with you.
